I was blessed to have a realization from a Beautiful aware Devine Feminine today and the simplicity of the act of always taking responsibility in self regardless of the situation and to use it as an opportunity to go within to deal with inner shit rather than trying to fix things or to project your feelings on others and instead of learning to be truly vulnerable.

I thought I was truly vulnerable until I met her and quickly realized I have been half-assing it and this is what’s holding me back from healing on a deeper level.

I’m obsessed with fixing things and I forget about fixing myself and I tend to project my thoughts on what I think is taking place in others instead of looking at ways on how I can heal based on truly being vulnerable and taking responsibility for myself instead of trying to create scenarios to better the “us” when it comes to relationships.

I need to keep it in the ? context and I need to stop projecting and I need to learn to be more vulnerable regardless of my ego and how my mind bully’s me to hold back in fear that I’m going to mess something up or be looked at as some weak “beta male” a true masculine divine knows how to teach but also knows how to learn and knows how to be vulnerable by taking responsibility instead of trying to control the situation by trying to “fix” it. Here I am teaching again rather than just saying I need to learn and I need to change!

I need to be real with my emotions no matter how weak I “appear” to be.

I need to say I am feeling disappointed and I am feeling sad or I am feeling fear etc.

I need to learn in relationships to stop looking for questions so I can project my thoughts on how I think the situation is and how it should be.

I need to stop making statements like I am not disappointed and that “I will move on” when I’m not feeling that way. If I’m sad I need to say I’m sad, if I’m afraid I need to say I’m afraid, and if I’m struggling in any area that doesn’t better myself I need to deal with it and be vulnerable with it.

I need to truly express how I feel and stop fearing I will lose “respect” if I do because this is straight-up lower self-ego and it shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks anyway if I truly love and value myself and if I do I won’t look for respect.

If I’m in a situation that is not desirable regarding the relationship I need to stop Psycho Analyzing the situation and speaking for others about the situation because it’s not my place. My place is to better me and take responsibility for how I am feeling and how I am behaving and it’s not up to me to speak on anyone else’s behave because that’s control and that’s projecting and protruding on other people’s true feelings and not letting them speak for themselves and I need to stop assuming what the other party is feeling and also letting go of expecting any form of response back in return.

I’m only letting myself down by holding myself back from expressing myself. I need to stop trying to always be a teacher and learn to just listen and hold space and fully expect the outcomes even if it’s out of my control and learn to work on myself in what I can do better instead of having hope and desire for something outside myself.

For those I build trust with when it comes to relationships and soul contracts I will be vulnerable and I will not be afraid to express how I am feeling even if it is “lower self” and “ridiculous” and instead of trying to see things how they “should be” I will see things for what they are by taking responsibility for my part and clearing the negative energy that is outside of my control.

Get back to nature my friends, get back to a diet that your biological design to eat, tap into your intuitive Consciousness, let your instincts guide you, live in the present moment, and I promise you my friends you will thrive!

Written by Jonathon RA Stearns AKA the Mangotarian

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